Saturday, October 29, 2005
11:11 PM;
yesterday i went back to sec school
since it's the last day
of mr harphal singh
[my principal]
mans.
it's total sadness
although he's such a pain.
always.
i don't know why
when i shake hands with him
i almost cried.
lots of kids cried.
so sad.
after that i went to meet him
to go heeren
to get my bag.
haa haa.
it's now in my hands.
luuurrbe it mans.
wahaha.
i've got the bag.
check it out..
today i went to
geylang serai.
to get my clothes.
finally.
actually wanted to get
green and yellow.
ended getting yellow
and gold.
haa.
wanted to get some henna also
but guess, no time.
cause my mum rushing.
so yeah,
didn't really get my stuffs.
and there's millions
of people there.
crowded.
it's madness.
i can't breathe in there.
and now,
i'm waiting
for a message
from someone..
no one.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
10:18 PM;
mans mans
lots of changes these days
people change
things change.
everything change.
yesterday my last day of work
so sad.
very sad.
almost cry.
boy.
never got to see them
crap around like always.
i mishhhh them crazieee!!!
as for today.
it's havoc.
went out with
pig and be.
went to tampines mall.
crap all the way.
watched flight plan.
cool.
it's a twist.
and the girl
is so adorable.
one of my fav bee's
retarded pics..
hope she don't kill
me for this
=x
don't know why.
no mood to blog.
lots to say.
but
sigh.
just don't want
to say it here.
my life is sad
sadnesssss!!!!
crapps..
no one.
Monday, October 24, 2005
3:01 PM;
just a thought.
i saw this
when i went crazy
looking for a nice skin.
it just hit me though.
to ask myself this questions.
and to ask him too.
am i the girl you cherished most?
am i the girl you loved most?
am i the girl you've been waiting for?
ok.
i'm being pathetic.
but yeah.
you know.
sometimes mind wander.
wander,
thinking about such bad stuffs.
can't help avoiding it.
=)
anyways bored day today.
=x
no one.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
11:50 PM;
hee hee.
mixed feelings
mished mished.
sigh.
yesterday was my last
day seeing shu fang.
how sad.
next week my last week
but i can't get to see shu fang.
this is craziness.
i'm mishing everyone now.
i almost cry when i say
bye to shu fang.
wondering why the sadness?
i've been working with them
10 months ago.
used to
taking orders
clear tables
set them
serve food.
man.
i'll mish those times.
but no turning back time.
my decision is final.
i'll quit.
now.
one day, i'll still have to quit.
so, now is the time.
don't wanna wait longer.
today,
thanx to hans big mouth
=x
the whole shop knew
next wed is my last day.
a few words from them -
mathir -
why quit so fast.sad sia.
yu long -
we all friends 10 months
then you want to quit
chew ling -
why always like that?
when close close
then quit ~
their words really make me wonder
am i really that important there?
if yes, why do i feel ignored?
will my absence really make
a difference?
well, maybe they are used
to having me around.
soon they'll get used
without me there too.
and their words really
make me think twice.
do i really have to do this?
do i have to quit.
i almost cry.
i will mish them crazy.
when will i hear their
laughter again?
to my colleagues:
i won't forget you guys.
you guys make one of the
best moments in my life.
and thanx
for everything =)
i'll love you guys.
tears tears.
I'LL MISH YOU GUYS.
whoa.
sobs sobs.
no one.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
10:04 PM;
todae is girls' day
i bet
i went out with
fairuz and joanne
to orchard.
it's shopping time!!!
so firstly, we went to
far east.
shop shop shop.
looking for jeans.
and shoes.
and so i did buy a shoe.
a shoe that i've been eyeing.
my brown converse shoe.
=)
can't find a nice jeans.
so we left far east
and head to heeren
walked around.
went to adorn (i think)
trying to find myself
a nice white belt.
and when i saw some nice ones
there's no white!!!
i really pity the guy.
he search the whole stock
looking for a white belt
for me.
and worst.
he searched twice.
poor him.
i'm guilty =x
but i'm glad ruz bought a belt
at least not so guilty.
and we bought a phone pouch.
but sadly, my phone is too fat
to fit in there.
so forget it.
and we continue walking
till i saw a very nice bag.
it really catches my eyes.
thinking that i've got not
enough money,
i walked out thinking
that i've got to say goodbye
to that bag.
but something struck me.
reserve that bag!!!!
so i went into the shop
and reserve it =).
i've got to collect it in
two weeks time.
yipee.
that was when i changed my mind.
i don't want the billabong bag
so, arh!!!!!
i luuurve that bag.
i'm thinking about the bag
all the way home.
till now.
i want that bag with me.
now!!!
kays.
enough of shopping.
morning, i went to meet him.
walked around lot 1
and play xbox.
for the first time =)
well, it was hell
can't control my car.
and the controller shucks.
make me lose to him
=x
no one.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
10:33 PM;
ok ok
let's blog about
today and
yesterday!!!!
as for yesterday,
my burfdae of course..
first thing in the morning,
i went to meet him
we talked and stuffs
cause HE said he wasn't coming
at night.
quite sad when i heard that.
but, what to do if he
got something so important?
at least met in the morning right?
then, i went to meet pig and be
at jurong point.
saying that we'll be catching
some movies.
then i noticed as we walked,
we started going out of
jurong point.
i'm like i thought the cinema
was inside??
but i just followed them till
we reached the interchange
and took 157 to some
jurong east area.
and then i knew, it wasn't
a movie we're catching.
so i just followed
as be lead us.
then she pushed open
a shop's door.
i thought we were entering
a clinic.
but i saw something that shocked me
they brought me to a hair shop.
and that's where i had my
hair makeover.
not much of a makeover though.
but it definitely make my
hair looks better =)
me and my new hair and pig's specs
next, we went to be's house.
sat there crapping and
watched a movie.
a real one.
hee hee.
till veron came then
we went down with some food.
then, i knew we were having
a bbq later on that day.
i met engkiat's girlfriend!!!!
they look alike somehow?
we played pool and swim.
haa haa.
basically i had fun.
to all those who make
my yesterday night
a wonderful one,
thanx a lot.
i love you guys..
well, enough of burfdae
surprises.
todae, we went to escape.
only me, be and pig.
we played not much
of the rides.
but yeah.
all the rides turns
and it keeps me giddy.
i almost vomited.
we went up the scariest
rollercoaster - alpha 8 -
or something.
at every point of turn,
my head flew off.
and there's this point
of time i seriously
almost flew of the seat.
i'll never take that ride
ever again!!!!
no one.
Friday, October 14, 2005
12:00 AM;
haa haa.
the day is here!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!
happy burfdae to me
happy burfdae to me
happy burfdae to me
happy burfdae to me
=)
=)
ok i seriously
don't know what's going on?
they are keeping a secret from me
hmmmm...
i'll find out tomorrow.
=)
they'll be first on my blacklist
=x
haa haa.
okie..
happie happie me =)
no one.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
5:42 AM;
okays.
what has been happening.
in these two days?
well,nothing much i guess.
monday went to work.
nothing but work.
i was the caller at nite.
freaking busy
especially when all the stand-by
is going out all at the same time.
sigh.
and that day i break my fast
at about 7.20.
so late.
yesterday was worst.
guess the time i break my fast?
8!!!!!!!!
mamamia.
so busy.
and we're short of one staff.
first time i break my fast at
8..
haa.
and today off from work.
=)
smiles.
i'm so tired.
guess my last day of work
is on 30th of oct.
everyone wanna hold me back.
but no no.
i can't wait to quit.
guess i'll mish them crazy.
bye bye siam kitchen.
actually,
nothing much also.
i've got nothing to blog.
and lately,
well, normally,
when you fast,
you'll be freaking hungry.
but these few days.
when it's to break my fast.
i still don't feel hungry though.
so i ate very little.
no idea why?
nothing much to update also.
so i'll shall just leave things here.
byes..
=)
no one.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
11:36 PM;
gals.
scream
AAAAAAAA!!!!
lots and lots of reason to scream
first of all,
daddy's attached.
yeash.
my daddy!!!!!
mamamia.
shocked??
don't be.haa
i'm still shock.
have yet to kill him.
bleh :P
secondly,
he fetched me!!!!!
he fetched me todae!!!
i know.
what's the big deal right?
but it's a very big deal
to me!!!
he fetched me!!!
ok.
that was extra extra
happie =)
but i was happie about that.
and i am.
still happie =)
can't stop smiling.
ok ok.
better stop talking.
about this.
later got people
just puke everywhere.
thirdly,
i don't know if this
is a secret plan.
my friends came visit me
while working todae.
why i don't know.
2 plus.
be appeared out of nowhere
=x
3 plus.
yi wei appeared
out of nowhere
(in fact all appeared out of nowhere)
=x.
4 plus.
joanne came with
her mum and i don't know who.
5 plus.
pig came with jin de.
i don't know why all visit me
todae =)
surprising.
ok.
scream.
-again-
AAAAAA!!!!
crazy.
i'm crazy.
i'm nuts.
ok.
i'm screwing larry now.
but he went offline again.
not fair
hmph!
haa.
i'm bored!
bored bored bored.
=(
no one.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
5:28 PM;
argh!!!
ok.
i hate meeee!!!!!
i don't know why.
argh.
like what the hell
is so wrong today.
nothing was ever right.
argh!!!
talk about him.
he was talking to me fine
on thursday.
joking here and there.
talk about the happy stuffs.
yesterday no calls.
but it wasn't surprising.
cause he told me he's going to
some bbq.
and i wasn't expecting any either
thinking he'll be home late.
so i told him today i was working
only for the morning shift.
thinking and hoping that
he might call me as soon as i
finish my work.
oh well, at least a missed call.
and half of me was also
hoping he was there
to fetch me.
but no calls when clock
struck3 .
one disappointment.
he's nowhere in sight
2nd disappointment.
called him.
and his tone was
ok seriously speaking
his tone was
-pissing me off-
like he wasn't happy to hear
my voice.
i mean like what the heck
one moment you were fine with me
and another.
you're like - argh!!!!
whatever!!!!!
big WHATEVER!!!!
and hans was another one.
i told ONE MONTH in advance
that i freaking want to quit
this boring job.
but he seems reluctant.
like hello.
i'm just a freaking part-timer
you can't hold me back.
hellloooo!!!!
and worst,
i'm not even one of the
best worker around.
i hate meeeeee!!!!
i hate myself!!!!
for everything.
i just hate myself!!!!
argh argh!!!!
it's such a bad day.
hattttteeeee meeeeee!!!!
no one.
Friday, October 07, 2005
8:45 PM;
whoa!!!!
i just did some makeover
to my
bloggieeeee!!!
and now my bloggie
seems so
me!!!!
i LUUUUURRRVE my bloggie!!!!!!
thought i wanted to change the skin.
but after this makeover,
i don't think i'll ever change it
ever again.
its so
purfect.
i think.
it just so meeee =)
ok.
i
LUUUUURRRRVE
it!!!
haa.
i better stop
saying that.
if not,
ruz'll kill me
=x
anyways,
today i went to pig's house
to watch robots
-again-
and then hang around
till about 6.30
i guess.
went home just
right on time to
break my fast.
nothing much happen today
i'm just blogging
to say that
i
LUUUUUURRRRVE
my bloggie
=)
no one.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
11:02 PM;
9 more days!!!
haa haa.
9 more days to you know what.
my special day!!!
anyways, who cares!!!
my bdae coming.
big yay!!!
anyways, i was working today.
morning a caller.
and night,
a runner.
almost cut my hand again.
hate mango!!!!
i'm so bored of kitchen.
i want to be outside!!!
morning wasn't busy.
but we got big groups.
haa.
but night was so freaking busy.
full house.
haa.
i spent my break time with
shu fang.
while talking to her,
i realised,
in fact we both realised
we need lots of money
to get our own stuffs.
sobs sobs.
like that must work more.
don't want.
i need a break from my work.
i'm so damn tired.
finally i'll not be working till
the weekends.
and today was first day of
fasting month
and i'm not fasting.
got some reason.
haa.
=)
=D (bigger smile)
and today he has still
yet to message me.
let him have his time.
i've promised to change
my stupid attitude.
so for now, i shall just
concentrate on changing.
he can have his time.
and me can have mine.
but i got a shock of life
when he called yesterday
as i wasn't expecting any.
but anyways, he called and
i picked up.
duh!!
let's not talk about him.
talk about me =).
i was feeling ok today.
not as bad as yesterday.
and the previous days.
why?
i've got no idea either.
probably, 'cause today,
i kept myself real busy,
and i don't let my mind wonder
too much
=)
*claps*
i don't know what
else can i blog
for now.
so..
tata..
no one.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
4:31 PM;
i'm working todae
bored to death.
so not busy day.
i was dying inside the kitchen.
nothing to do.
and i don't know when
did mathir appear from nowhere.
and as normal yu long was like
i don't know what.
flirting i shall say.
with me.
eeeeewwww.
and mathir saw that.
and they both act like they
are trying to win my heart
or something.
funny when i see them do that.
anyways, i'm home now.
later going back to work again.
he didn't call yesterday.
so i had to call him.
and we did talk a while.
not really a while though.
kinda long.
and he said he still
loves me =).
ok.
felt better when i heard that.
a lot better.
no doubt.
and so we talked.
and even though he didn't
tell me everything,
i felt it was my fault after all.
he said he needed time now.
as he was - is i mean
confused about this.
and he said he will talk to me
on the phone.
but not everyday.
so guess, i'll just leave him alone
for now.
let him have some space to
sort out his mind.
but i'll definitely
call him every now and then.
to check on him.
at least knowing that
he's safe
i'm happy.
and i don't know why
i felt better after talking to him.
guess i know what to do now.
change my freaking attitude.
my temper.
argh.
why was i so hot-tempered?
with him i mean?
see, how far you've gone to
till you hurt someone you
love?
ok.i regretted everything.
and i'm shoorie.
truly i am.
anyways this week work's fun.
since i won't be seeing hans.
haa haa.
he won't be around till thurs?
but i won't be around till sat.
so will only see him on sat.
a very good news.
it's like a big YAY!!!
another update about my work.
i'll probably be quitting my work
-soon-
maybe around mid of nov?
many reasons
1- i'm tired of working
2- want to rest
3- don't like the environment
4- bored of the same old thing
and basically, alot more.
=)
so probably quit around there.
then stop working till jan.
then i'll start working again.
as something else.
i'm so not going back there
-again-
so have myself a break =)
and try new stuffs.
and spend more time with him.
hope so.
just sometimes wondering.
if i will be smiling on my birthday?
wondering if i'll get to see him
on my special day?
hope i'll get to see him.
and forgive me by then
or at least.
hope things will end by then.
and i promise.
i'll try
to make things better
for him and me.
=)
i shall now leave.
to get ready for work.
kind of hungry.
but no appetite
=(
and the cut on my hand
is killing me.
kinda deep i noticed.
=(
no one.
Monday, October 03, 2005
10:48 PM;
crap.
today shucks.
really shucks.
he still have yet to call me.
sob sob
called him this morning.
went to school.
afternoon.
play basketball.
just few minutes ago.
still not home yet.
i'm beginning to feel numb
about this whole thing.
it's not fair to me.
i never ever leave him alone.
why is he doing this?
probably if i die now,
he wouldn't even care.
anyways, i just came back from work
crap.
was the caller today.
again.
bored of being a caller.
cut the freaking mango.
and cut my hand.
accidentally.
and the blood just can't stop
flowing.
i message him.
just to ask him to call me.
when he reached home.
i hope he does.
i want this whole thing to end.
and it seems like
what i say and pig say
just won't work.
he's still being stubborn.
i might go crazy soon.
sometimes i feel angry about this.
it's not fair to me.
just leaving me alone.
no news.
no calls.
no messages.
sometimes i feel that i'm at fault.
for this whole thing to happen.
but then - again -
he just should not react
this way.
don't i crossed his mind?
not even once?
has he ever asked himself
how am i?
what i'm doing now?
am i ok?
doesn't he feel restless?
weeks not talking to me?
why am i the only idiot
feeling so restless?
nothing i did was ever right?
felt something was missing?
why he doesn't feel this?
sigh
questions, questions and questions.
and he has yet to call.
bet he won't call me.
why is he dragging this?
is it a must for a guy
to torture a girl?
no one.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
6:07 PM;
another crappie day of mine
have been feeling crappy lately
oh
crap
when will things ever get better?
no!
stop thinking about it
think about something else
like what?
sigh
can't stop thinking.
can't stop crying either.
this ain't right.
why?why?
how could this happen?
but i should not think so much
i'll get used to it.
he will too.
and we both will.
then,
everything will just end
and things will get
normal.
i'm alone.
and will always be.
ok
what did i do today?
went for my class.
rent some vcds after that
get my butt home.
watch the movies.
and start crying again.
my life is so dead.
nothing but crying.
why am i being such a lil pain?
just leave him alone
and when the time is right
he'll call you back!!!
no.maybe he won't.
why can't someone just tell
me the truth..
just say he don't have
the feelings for me anymore
and that we're through.
i don't know.
is he lying about loving me?
or am i thinking too much.
but his reactions are making me
think this way.
i want my answers.
but it's not going to happen now
not now.
never.
sobx sobx
maybe i should just stop crying.
and
stop thinking.
things will be fine.
one day.
ok.i just lied
to myself.
things aren't going to be fine
it's just getting worst.
doesn't anyone think so?
i lied. and i lied
and i lied..
no one.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
11:40 PM;
-i walk alone-
from the lyrics of:
boulevard of broken dreams
sang by:
green day
perfect
beautiful
have you ever felt
that one day you'll walk alone
knowing that there's people around you
and yet
you still walk alone.
i did.
i tried to put it
far away from me
and yet
i still feel so alone.
i've never felt this alone.
never.
my world are falling apart.
maybe this whole thing have been
a mistake.
why together.
if problems just keep popping up.
when we can be more than happy as friends?
part of me
wanted him to talk to me
tell me what's going on in life
so i will understand
tell me how's his day
how he's been feeling
and another part of me
just want to be alone
in this world.
i want to be free from problems
cause i'm out of tears
to cry
and let's think about this phrase
-time heal all wounds-
i don't agree with it.
how can time heal my wounds
my scars?
how can everyone get this wrong?
imagine, i'm left alone
with all the time in the world
can i ever heal?
to think about it
i think
its love that heal the wounds.
and i'm still waiting
waiting for the love and patience.
or maybe it has been my mistake
how far can a wounded heart go?
he said he needed time.
in my view,
those who needs time
are better off left alone.
at least, then they can think straight.
but is his view like mine?
does he needs me now?
no.
he doesn't.
if he does, he would have talk to me
no.
he doesn't.
or am i living in denial.
and since lately,
he's been so busy,
too busy to even ask
how's my day.
isn't it best if i just leave him alone?
has he been busy?
or is that the oldest excuse
to avoid me?
anyways,
back to being busy
i should just stop telling him
where i go,
where am i.
he can have his time then.
and by then,
we'll be so used
living without each other
-haven't you heard that
i'm gonna be ok-
last thing.
lately i've been addicted to
baby it's you
by JOJO!!!
and part of this lyrics
i want it to go to him
You ain't got to buy nothing
It's not what I want
Baby it's You
We don't have to go nowhere
It's not what I want
Baby it's you
It's not for what you got
Cause I know you got alot
No matter what you do
You always keep it Hot
It's You,
It's You~
Baby all I want is You Yeah
no one.
she's someone in your life
she's someone you love <3
she'll go nasty if you make her cry.
libra