NO ONE

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

11:07 PM;

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

avril lavigne ;

nobody's home ;

no one.

Monday, May 29, 2006

8:30 PM;

I LOVE YOU ALL :)))

no one.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

11:34 PM;

orh. what a day. went out for movie and pizza for a celebration :)). yay.

movie was nice. and funny. over the hedge was worth my $9.50 :D. well, i had a great time. that's what matters :). i like the squirrel. so cute. and funny. he's super active la. haas. super cutes.

and food was delicious of course. it's pizza hut!!! finally i'm eating pizza again. cause i'm like dying to eat it for so long. i LOOOOOVE pizzas. shall make pizza soon :)

and after pizza was arcade. played a few games. but yeah, mood was spoilt. sorry. i'm not blaming anyone. but yeah just a little down. but this outing, we didn't take any pictures. booooo :(. no pictures to show off this time :x. shall take next time :)

exams are around the corner. and i have yet to start my revisions. i'm so dead. i think i left one week to study :(. can i skip all lesson and revise myself? haa haa. lately i've been so addicted to backstreet boys again. awwwww. AJ! incredible voice. well, more of unique. ok ok. back to school work. projects. next week one more project i THINK.

today, when mood was down, i kept telling myself, it will all be fine one fine day. it will be like it used to. I HOPE.

If I just breathe

Let it fill the space between

I’ll know everything is alright

Breathe

Every little piece of me

You'll see

Everything is alright

If I just breathe

oh god. please make me pull through this pain. help me up on my feet again. i need/have to stand strong again. i can't be so helpless again. pull me through. take this pain away.

no one.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

7:03 AM;

WOOOOHOOOO!!!
i LOOOOOVE hockey :DDDDD

yes yes. had another hockey training yesterday. it was superb. well, i think it was better than last 2 weeks. more communication, more games, more FUN :)))

it was suppppeeeer FUN :))

but then again, they should stop bullying me :(((

hee hee. LOVESLOVES :))

and again - i felt so out of place. felt a little different. felt like it wasn't me. i felt so XTRA :((((((

no one.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

9:45 PM;

sigh. it's only been a week since i update my blog. and LOTS (i really mean lots) of things have been happening. the ups and downs. but of course, it's more of downs. well, it's never more of ups. downs and downs. lows and lows. :(((. supppper sad. suppper down.

this is the biggest news. i was happily having lunch yesterday, joking and crapping with ruz. when i reached my table, larry just tell us something. one of my classmates died. i was shocked and at the same time, i didn't believe him till my classmates start talking about it. and so, there i was shocked and disappointed plus sad.

and the reason was commiting suicide. after knowing the reason to his death, part of me hated him. why? i don't know. why did he just end his life over something so stupid. but then, again it can't be only that reason, can it? i mean, other then that reason, there must be other reason that follows up till he decided to commit suicide right? and what's the other reason, none of us know. but then again, i pity him to have go through all this. aiya, you know the mixed feelings.

and this is the first time, my friends died and commit suicide. i'm shocked. i'm sad. i can't pretend to be happy either. when my mentor told us the news today, i couldn't concentrate on my studies. just what make him do that?

sigh. this is life. and now, a new chapter of life begins. people come and go. but just don't go the way he did. it's not fair to his parents who raised him up. it's not fair to his loved ones. all i hope is that, i'm not facing another thing like this anymore.

anyways, the happy news is that, my mp3's BACK :))))). yay. it's perfectly fine now. just that i must be free to collect it one of these days. can't wait can't wait. so lonely without mp3. i need music you see. hee hee :DDD

and exams are around the corner. have yet to study :(. that's bad. very bad.

apart from all this, i'll stay strong (i hope). breathe - and everything will be just fine :)

miss these girls la. can't wait for tess to finish her As. and she's ours again :) yay. looking forward to end of year. which is still very very very far :(

no one.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

2:58 PM;

lala. yesterday, i had hockey training :))))). and like duh, this time is more havoc with be and aidel joining us. haa haa. you can just laugh seeing them quarelling.

but before hockey, there's school. and school is like FOREVER boooring. lecture was short. lesson was like assignments. crap. and it was worst when justin's gang sat in front of us. laming, crapping and joking non-stop la. and he never stops bugging joanne and ruz (especially about taufik). and of course the non-stop pictures in class (cause we are done with our group assignment :D)

water bottles of the three girls :))

me me me :)

hee hee. that's me also. it's specially taken by JOANNE CHUA in the toilet. i love the effects :D

then, we went for hockey!!!! yipee yipee yay yay. training was cool there's more people :). more games and less drills :DDD. and ruz TOTALLY COMPLETELY fall in love with SOMEONE! can't stand her lars. it's total FUN :))).

and aishah was like asking me to play for this club. but, ooops, i turn her down. big sorry :((. i'm not commited enough to actually play for clubs la. plus during the tournament period is my common test periods. i don't know. just don't want it :)

anyways, here comes the pictures. taken from kartini's blog.

a pile of sticks :D

that's ruz, pig, sarah and me :))

we're getting ready to RUN :((

no one.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

9:54 PM;

OKAYS. i think i SHOULD cut down on blogging. cause, this is like my 221th post over a year :x. but who cares, once it exceeds, i'll start anew :).

it's a very long and bad day today. i went to school and waited for like 35 min for the bus. how long can that get right? and guess, i was late for school. grrr.

today's school is a bleak. DB is like brain cracking for practical. sighs. and tomorrow, another DB lesson. i shall pronounce myself dead :x. and worst, practical doesn't cost a mark la. it's the group case study that contains mark. don't know why my classmates were so eager doing the practical (cause in the end, teacher will go through the answers and plus the answers CAN BE FOUND in MEL).

after school, i went to meet him for dinner before he go play his basketball. :((((

so looking forward to tomorrow. there's HOCKEY. finally, there's something to look forward for every week.

as i went home today, lots of things went through my mind. i see lots of stuffs. i see couples, the happy ones and the unhappy ones. i see families. i see friends. and there i was thinking, our life is just like an unplanned drama - reality drama (IS DO HELP). all those words that you hear pratically everyday, are like scripts or pick-up lines.

words like :

sorry - do people really mean it when they say sorry? do they mean sorry and not repeat the mistakes? and is sorry all it takes to make someone smile again? and again, it's up to people to see it for themselves. to me, sorry doesn't mean anything. people say but never change. people say and thought it ends everything when actually it doesn't.

i love you / i miss you - do they mean it? does it comes from the heart? i'm beginning to doubt it. people say it and sometimes, it's just words to cover up their lies or their true feelings

people say, smile, you might never know who will fall in love with your smile. right. there's times you smile, and yet still feel un-loved/unappreciated. and there's time you smile, but do you get a smile back? maybe yes, maybe no.

friends are meant to be there whenever you need them (of course, they mean more than this. just one of those thoughts). but who's really a friend? how do you know if they are really someone you can lean on? or are they someone who listen, and spread it around behind your back?

are we born to make people around us happy? and do we really want/try/make people happy even though sometimes it means, losing our own happiness? do we? i don't know.

i don't even know why all these craps were in my thoughts. why why why? okay okay. just forget all those craps. pretend i didn't say anything. : (((((((

no one.

Monday, May 15, 2006

1:49 PM;

michelle branch ;

are you happy now? ;

Now, don't just walk away

Pretending everything's ok

And you don't care about me

And I know there's just no use

When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye

And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh

Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,

Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,

And left me with an empty plate

And you don't care about it, yeah

And I am givin' up this game

~~I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,~~

Could you look me in the eye?

And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh

Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,

Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah

Do you really have everything you want?

You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got

You can't run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?

and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah

come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,

are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh

are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?

Could you look me in the eye?

I've had all that I can take

~~I'm not about to break~~

~~Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh~~

Are you happy now?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

god pull me through this thing. cause i can't take it anymore. i just can't. i just want to fall and cry my heart out. i just want to be me again. i want me, myself and i. i want to run away from all this. i wish i could.

I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE
have you forgotten
everything that i wanted
do you forget it now?
YOU NEVER GOT IT
DO YOU GET IT NOW?

will you be there when i need someone to talk to?
will you be there when i need a shoulder to lean on?
will you be there when i need someone to wipe away my tears?
will you be there when i need a warm hug?
will you be there when i need to talk to someone?

will you be there?

forgotten ;

no one.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

9:39 PM;

haa haa. i got wrong info. i thought yesterday was mothers' day. ooops. it's today. hee hee. so paise. but anyways,

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY :)

today went to celebrate mothers' day. had dinner at siam kitchen. can't finish my tom yam noodle soup. too full. :((. but it's ok. anyways, gave my mum the thing i bought for her. and she was like so shock. she say she's shy to use the bag. haa haa. but it's ok la. i know she'll use it :)

nothing much to blog actually. just want to say happy mothers' day.

:)))

no one.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

2:07 PM;

woooohooooooooo. yesterday was a very happening day :D

met the girls at city hall for a girls' day out. suppose to go for bowling. but end up, not bothered :x . and so we went to city hall, drop by esplanade cause, we've been wanting to go there together for like months ago. but morning view wasn't so nice, and it's like sooooo hot. so, we just chit chat a while and left. and we almost lost our way. hee hee.

then, we dragged our feet to bugis where it started to rain :((. and i was suppose to shop for my things, end up buying things for mothers' day. and i didn't get me and him anything. haa haa. poor me :(((. we had lunch at siam kitchen. didn't eat anything though. i ate red ruby and banana fritters (it's being shared) and went home.

and i know i was late yesterday. haa haa. but hey, save you all people the trouble to go out and buy things. hee hee. anyways it was fun. playing flour and stuffs. goodness, so glad i wasn't so erm..floured? i was quite clean. and the guys were like all white. and their hair was like erm 101 dalmations, half white half black :x . it was fun :DDDDD

and as for the pictures, if you all want it, ask me. i'm so lazy to upload it :x . lala.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

me, myself and i

miss these babes :(

esplanade :))

hearts him <3>

ryan cabrera ;

photo ;

A photo can say a thousand things

But it can't say the million things I wanna say

A photo can capture the way we were

But it can't capture the way we are

'Cause you're far away

What it's like to know you

~~What it's like to touch you~~

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

'Cause I'm looking at your picture

'Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments

And I might be lonely girl

~~But I'm not afraid~~

In a second

It all comes right back to me

Nothing's forgotten now

Yeah everything's saved

What it's like to touch you

~~What it's like to know you~~

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

'Cause I'm looking at your picture

'Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

You were my life

you were my faith

You gave me hope every day

When you told me that you loved me

were those just words

You can't tell me you don't need me

and I know that hurts

'Cause I'm looking at your picture

'Cause it's all I've got

Maybe one day

You and me will have one more shot

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

and again, i felt the same thing yesterday. felt so out of place. and i felt so down at the end of the day. with my knee which hurts so much. don't know why it's in pain :((. god save me.

and oh ya, before i forgot,

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY

:)))))

no one.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

7:53 PM;

evanescence ;

going under ;

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

50 thousand tears I've cried

Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me

(I'm going under)

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

I'm going under

Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies

So I don't know what's real and what's not

Always confusing the thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowing in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

So go on and scream

Scream at me I'm so far away

I won't be broken again

I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

i'm scared. i'm scared for tomorrow. and i'm scared that when it's finally the time for me to laugh and enjoy myself, the feeling will come back. i'm scared. i'm scared for tomorrow. so not looking forward to it. i'm scared.

no one.

11:30 AM;

MAMAMIA. people this is a very important announcement :x. i won't be blogging so much. cause, i can't view my blog through my com :(((( . don't know why also. oh man. this sucks big time. (oops, after posting this post, i can view le. so i'll be blogging -.-)

anyways, yesterday is my very 1st hockey training. yes yes. well, training was fun. as in finally we get to play hockey. yes. but, we are not so close to any of the team members, so it's quite boring. as in not so much unless you play with someone you are close with. but anyways, played games with them. and they are like soooo fast, i can barely catch up la. -.- and my whole body is like aching now.

lala. i loooove this photo cans :D

smile zie, smile :)

hmmmm

whose hand is that?

and yesterday's lessons are boring so i'm like taking pictures in class. haa haa. nothing better to do :). anyways took the photos with ruz's classic phone ;))

now is the edited photos :D

lala. love these babes :))) <3

i looove the girls too :)

loooove him lots too :D

anyways, my classmates going through some name slogan at websites. and mine is EVERY BUBBLE'S PASSED ITS ZIE :DDD. and we did some new names for each other. the girls become guys and guys become girls

bjorn - beyonce
larry - lily
ruz - felix
joanne - johnny
mine - unknown yet :x

no one.

Monday, May 08, 2006

1:32 PM;

YESS. today's the 8th. but don't know why. i'm still feeling this way. i SHOULD be happy today. but i'm not. i'm still feeling the same. in fact i think i feel worst. worst then ever. breathe breathe breathe. argh. i can't take this anymore. sobs.

is there anyone out there. who practically understands how i feel. anyone? it's not suppose to be like this. i'm not suppose to feel this way. boy. i really couldn't take it anymore. i just want cry my heart out. someone help me please.

do you understand what i'm going through?
do you understand what i'm feeling right now?

DO YOU GET IT NOW?
that i can't take it anymore.
DO YOU?

can someone please help me through this. i'm not feeling anything anymore. all the smiles, the laughter, the happiness, is no longer there. no longer there. goooooone.

p.s : haa haa. i did something to the blog. at least now i think it looks better. as in the frreaking background is not much of a distraction anymore :). now can read easily :D

It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me

It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be

But there are facts in our lives

We can never change

Just tell me that you understand and you feel the same

This perfect romance that I've created in my mind

I'd live a thousand lives

Each one with you right by my side

But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance

And so it seems like we'll never have the chance

Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny

And you can't move on even though you try

Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel

Oh, I wish this could be real

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life

And you don't want to face what's wrong or right

Ain't it strange how fate can play a part

In the story of your heart

Sometimes I think that a true love can never be

I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me

Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain

And I don't think that I could face it all again

I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you

And I no longer doubt

You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made

And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid

Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny

And you can't move on even though you try

Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel

Oh, I wish this could be real

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life

And you don't want to face what's wrong or right

Ain't it strange how fate can play a part

In the story of your heart

I locked away my heart

But you just set it free

Emotions I felt

Held me back from what my life should be

I pushed you far away

And yet you stayed with me

I guess this means

That you and me were meant to be

no one.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

12:11 PM;

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away

no one.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

10:45 PM;

a veeeery loooong day today. tired. went to malaysia so early in the morning. met my uncle and went to malacca to visit my grand aunt :)) . journey is so long, erm, about 4 hours? slept the way there. so tired. reach my grand aunt's house, i played with her grandchild till tired. so i slept again. went back to JB at 3.

another 4 hours of journey back to JB. visit my aunt and left her house at 7. her grandchildren is super hyperactive la. practically running around and climbing the chairs and tables. and their non-stop laughter made the whole house alive. but the sister is sweet. she cares about her brother. she put my sis's brooches away from the table just to prevent her brother getting hurt. i mean it's like sweeeeeet la. and she's not even 5 i think.

left the house at about 7 and went to angsana (i think) to search for my hockey shoes. yay. got one pair of shoe and a shoe bag too. loving it :DD. and finally, we went home :)

not forgetting the pictures :))

that's me - stuck in the car

me and my sis

my cousin. don't know what's her name :x

chicken's alive :D

chewing gums!!! blow blow :)

no one.

12:22 AM;

and yes. today. i'll be away. i'll be at malaysia. but i don't know why, i'm not feeling good. i don't feel good about leaving tomorrow. i just don't feel good. i'm feeling so restless. just take care everyone :((((((

LOVES <3

no one.

Friday, May 05, 2006

8:55 PM;

Christina Aguilera : Beautiful

Every day is so wonderful

And suddenly, it's hard to breathe

Now and then, I get insecure

~~From all the fame, I'm so ashamed~~

To all your friends, you're delirious

So consumed in all your doom

Trying hard to fill the emptiness

The piece is gone and the puzzle undone

That's the way it is

-------------------------------------------

Christina Aguilera : The Voice Within

Young girl, don't cry

~~I'll~~ be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl, it's all right

Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

Young girl, don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Young girl, just hold tight

And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

-------------------------------------------

and once again, i'm feeling down. basically, feeling so terrible. terrible terrible feeling. sob sob. hate this.

anyways, had IS today. well, my IS module is fun. it's tv, beyond entertainment. basically, i'm being entertain every week in class :x. haa haa. no la. well of course study about tv stuffs la. last week watch some movies and sitcoms. this week is all about advertisements :D. and some advertisement is so lame that you can't guess what product is it advertising -.-. did assigment on channel 5 and class ended :D

well, not much of a long day. but currently struggling to do my ooad assignment. and my other 2 team mates are not online. one busy jamming or church i guess. another one, should be MIA :x. anyways, can't wait for hockey to start. it's been a long time since i last play hockey. i'm craving for hockey :))

well, so not looking forward for tomorrow. i'll be going malaysia. so i'm not looking forward to leave singapore. haa haa. i'll miss my lap top. my friends. and i'll miss him :(((((((( .

don't know why, i felt as if i'm going somewhere far tomorrow. and i feel as if i'll go for long. i'll miss you. :((((((((((

no one.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

10:51 PM;

why do i always feel this way? why?

please tell me that you love me still.

please tell me all this is a nightmare.

don't tell me it's real.

tell me i'm still alive.

sigh. after all these days. after all these weeks. i'm still not feeling any better :((((( . anyways, appointment date is changed to 13th july. damn the clinic. they're only open on thursday. which means, i've got no choice but to skip my last class on thurs. screwed.

i'm feeling so sick. cough, fever and running nose. the germs are killing me :x .

i miss me. i miss the noisy me. i miss the crazy me. i miss the happy-go-lucky me. i miss my smile. i miss my laughters. i miss my happiness. i miss my world. i miss my cheerful life. i miss every part of me. i miss myself. i miss my life. i miss my everything.

I MISS ME

no one.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

7:34 PM;

ANYONE NEEDS A NEW LIFE? TAKE MINE. I INSIST!!!

right. who wants my screwed life anyways. i wish i'm dead. go to the graveyard, dig my grave and bury me alive. i feel dead anyways. oh ya, i want my grave stones there to be green and white. bright colours.

what's the point of living anyways. when no one (i really mean no one) appreciate what i did for them. when no one bother to notice those little things i did. no one. just no one. when i'm not in anyone's heart.

just kill me la. you can probably lead a better and happier life. you're better off without me. and i'm better off alone. i'm alone anyways.

WHAT'S THE POINT IN LIVING?

no one.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

9:07 PM;

two most important thing for today's post

------------------------------------------------

1st - mp3's DOWN!!! crap. you know what's life without music. oh crap. i can only collect it in like 2 or 3 weeks time. oh crap. crap laaaaa. freakkkkkkk creative.

2nd - appointment is on 27th JULY. oh right. 27th july. i'm having school lar. unless it's holiday. but still. trouble me. must make another appointment :/

------------------------------------------------

haa haa. and i manage to style my hair nicely today :D lala. and i think i'm having new wishlist. there's so many things to buy. :))

ps : and i'm sneezing non-stop :s

no one.

Monday, May 01, 2006

4:13 PM;

theme : the guest
haa haa. i don't even know why and how i came out with this theme. but whatever la. who cares. lala. no mood to make pictures. and this picture turns out retard :x

no one.

10:34 AM;

lala. went to cineleisure yesterday with ek, jeannie, pig, jd and dear. played counter strike again :x. was quite lousy yesterday. especially in the assault map. always shot dead. don't know why.

after playing, we went to long john silver (again :s) to eat snacks. then, we went back to emax to watch dvds. watched nanny mcphee. i like the movie :D. ben joined us half-way. after the movie, the guys play counter strike one on one. super lame :x .

after this is DINNER. yay. went to bukit timah plaza for pizza hut :D. i've been craving for it long time ago. yummy. pizza was delicious. as always. ate till i was bloated :x. then, we went home, feeling so tired.

yay. photo photo :))

no one.