NO ONE

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

10:36 PM;

all i gotta say
today is that
i treasure
everyone around
me.
yesh.
everyone.
i treasure
you all to bits.

and as for him.
i know he's
strict about
my appetite
for my own good
i'm sowwie
if i reacted
wrongly
just a bit
too sensitive
hee hee.

and i just
want to treasure
you all my
whole life

love you all
lots and lots

and to tess,
i'm so happie
that you got
promoted.
congrats.
and good luck
for the next
coming year.
study hard.
and i should
be seeing you
around soon yeah

to my other two
beloved girls,
pig and be,
i mish you all!!!!
even though
we're stuck in
the same
torture chamber
(ngee ann)
but we seldom
see each other
reason:
i don't know.
what a big school
we have here =x
and i hope
to see you people
around soon.
study hard!!
exams are around
the corner..
jia you

no one.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

10:57 PM;

what i really
wanted was
someone's care
fullstop.
but people say
you won't get
what you always
want
which seems to
be true to me
-now-

he said
my appetite has
really going from
bad to worst.
and he's kinda
pissed at the
fact that it's
getting worst
and i'm not
eating.

yeah probably
it is getting
from bad to
worst.
but has anyone
ever wonder why?
does he ever
wonder why too?
instead of just
screaming.
why not ask me
why am i not eating
am i feeling down?
or moody.
and of course,
all i did was cry.
and he didn't even
reach out his hand
to wipe my tears
give me a hug
till the last min
when i starting
to stop crying.

all i can say was
disappoinment.
but was i really
expecting too much
from him?
or was i right?

and it was
that point that
i realised i was right
all along.
i was right about
being alone and
empty.
in fact i was all
alone.
used to, now and
forever alone.
i cry alone.
walk alone
and i'm just
alone.

no one.

Monday, November 28, 2005

7:47 PM;

-disappointment-
that's how
i'm feeling now.

have you ever
felt that you
just want be
by his side the
whole day?
just felt that
you were missing
him crazy
and hoping
that he got
the time to spare
you though you know
he don't.

i felt it.
i don't know why.
it's just a feeling
of being there
with him.
and knowing
that he got
training today,
all i felt was sad
that he couldn't
company me.
i wasn't angry
nor did i ask
him to skip
the training.
i know it's
important to him.
have i not understand
this point for the
past few weeks?
it's just the sudden
feeling which makes
me sad and don't
feel like doing
anything.

that's all
he could always
talk me into
going home
instead of getting
pissed?
it's just that
perhaps, i need
some care
some love

was that too
much to ask?
or am i really
expecting too much
from him?

still
disappointed.

he said he
understand,
which i think
he doesn't.

still
sadness.
still empty.

sigh.
=/

no one.

10:54 AM;

ok.
argh
gonna scream soon
i just type it
and accidentally
press something
else.
and all gone.
bleh.!

anyways,
today just
shucks.
NF and UID.
NF is a bloody
module that i
don't even know
what the heck?
UID the teacher
is just so -corny-

yesterday,
watched my hindi
movie.
nice nice.
sweet sweet.
its called
-my best friend's wedding-
lovely movie.
they end up marrying
each other.
so sweet.

sometimes i wish
to live in movies.
i mean wish my
life was a movie.
after a few hours,
movie end,
my life end.
plus, you'll be
facing one problem
most of the time.
and a sweet little
prince will rescue
you in the end.
happily ever after.

rather than living
like a normal human
facing so many
problems
it's like a
-living hell-
it's more like
sadly-still-surviving
ever after thing.
argh.
life.

but next week's
movie's sweet-er
i'm so gonna
watch that.
love it to the
bits.
no matter how
many times i
watch it,
i'll still cry.
sob sob.

no one.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

4:29 PM;

Emptiness, down in my heart, down in my soul.

I lost the faith, I lost the hope.

Sigh' When can I ever be happy and cheerful

from the bottom of my heart again?

Sigh' When can I ever find my soul?

I'm waiting..

Waiting for you..

In order to revive my dead shell..

taken from:

http://wiseacre.blogdrive.com/comments?id=47

ok.

i don't know

what is that.

but i found it

somewhere.

just thought

it was nice.

so i posted

it up here.

emptiness

the only

word i know.

it's creeping

in.

for the moment

i thought,

i'm satisfy.

for the moment

i thought,

i'm happy.

for the moment

i thought,

someone, was there.

but when i turn

around.

i was wrong.

it was an

illusion.

no one.

Friday, November 25, 2005

4:14 PM;

he's there
yet
he isn't there..

seems to lost
my touch.
feeling far.
very far
where was my
past?
where was the
happie days

where was my
heart?
where was my
thoughts?
where was
i?

i'm trying,
dying,
to be
me

no one.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

6:35 PM;

i'm down
i'm sick
down with fever
and with the
weather, raining
whole day long
the urge to just
stay home
starts filling in.
ok.
i know that's bad
but, can't
help it.
=)

just got to know
from my dearest
be, that
she and pig has
already watched
exorcism.sad
as i was like
still waiting
for them to decide
when we should
go and watch together
haa haa.looks like
i've got to watch it
-alone-
boo hoo hoo.
sob sob.

i just learn from
my iac class
about my personality
type.
he [my teacher] say
that NFs [that's my type]
are the noisiest people around
[???]
and they are never neat
-sounds like true-
haa haa.
guess what i'm
writing for comkit
class?
-beauty-
my god.
that ain't me
haa haa.
but it's ok.
i'm running out
of ideas on what
to write.
and as for iac
my group are
writing about
-why are we lying
to ourselves-
true.
undeniable fact.
=)

tomorrow will be
a very long day in school
i shall get myself
charge for tomorrow

latest addiction:
mariah carey's single:
don't forget about us

---------------------------------------

Intro:
(Don't forget about us)
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
No baby, no baby, no baby no
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
My baby boy...

(Verse I)
Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
We both paid the price
Tears in my eyes
You know sometimes
It'd be like that baby

(Bridge I)
Now everytime I see you
I pretend I'm fine
When I wanna reach out to you
But I turn and I walk and I let it ride
Baby I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about

(Chorus)
Late nights, playin' in the dark
And wakin' up inside my arms
Boy, you'll always be in my heart and
I can see it in your eyes
You still want it
So don't forget about us

I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So I hope this will remind you
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us

(Verse II)
Oh they say
That you're in a new relationship
But we both know
Nothing comes close to
What we had, it perseveres
That we both can't forget it
How good we used to get it

(Bridge II)
There's only one me and you
And how we used to shine
No matter what you go through
We are one, that's a fact
That you can't deny
So baby we just can't let
The fire pass us by
Forever we'd both regret
So don't forget about

(Chorus)

(Rap)
And if she's got your head all messed up now
That's the trickery
She'll wanna have like you
Know how this lovin' used to be
I bet she can't do like me
She'll never be MC

Baby don't you, don't you forget about us

(Chorus x2)

Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go
No baby, no baby, no baby no
Don't baby, don't baby, don't let it go

When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us.

----------------------------------------

ain't she cool?
she just rocks
ok ok.
=)

no one.

Monday, November 21, 2005

7:35 PM;

bored
i am
bored.
haa haa.

well, today
somehow skip
the last class
since the teacher
had aready went
through what he
suppose to, earlier.
so somehow.
the 1 hr class was
optional.

i went over
to meet him
after school
trying to talk
things out here.
cause i think
he's got the right
to know something.
but sadly,
it seems like
he got no time to
spare me.
he's rushing to
training.
asked me to call
when i reached
home
i call and no
answers.
just somehow
feel far from him.
like he's there
but not there.
ok what the hell
am i saying.
crap.

and where is
pig and ruz
why aren't they
online??
speaking of these
two devils,
one of them [ruz]
appear online,
and a few seconds
later offline.
and still
offline..

no one.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

3:12 PM;

hmmm
have yet to blog
lately.
mish blogging.

basically, what's been
happening?
went to bugis yesterday
to celebrate
pig's bdae.
at siam kitchen.
ate buffet.
somehow.
and aidel [did i spell it right?]
put some make up
on her [pig]
as a birthday gift.
haa.
i wasn't part of this.
so i'm innocent =x
anyways, it was
wonderful.
thanx people.

ps : happie bdae gal!!!!

but also sadly,
tessie not there.
she's missed
by me =)

walked home
with pig.
heard some stories
and it just
makes me wonder
-again-
why does it makes
me wonder so much?
it's just a turn off
to hear stories.
i don't know.
argh.
can say i was moody
yesterday night.
dying of hunger.
but when it's time
to order some food
i just got no
appetite.
so i just ate
some of his food.

but, basically,
all was fine.
enjoyed myself
somewhat.
yeah.
still blogging.
some west spring
peeps are here
for hari raya.
and i'm in a no
way to present myself.
cause,
i'm in shorts.
sob sob.
ok.
all girls except for
elfie. poor thing.
alone.haa.
anyways.
whatever.
i'm busy with school stuffs.
no time to talk to them.
and worst,
i don't know how to
entertain people
as in guest.

i'm a retard.
total retard.
okies.
i'm leaving...

no one.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

3:01 PM;

do some PEOPLE
just have to make my
life more difficult
and more stress?
argh.

i know you're stress.
but halo,
mind you.
you're not living
alone.
and you're not the
only one with
stoopid problem
and mind you.
i'm a human being too.
i've got feelings.
so at least,
have a thought for me
and other people.
and i think
what you said
just make things
worst.
so mind your words.

half-pissed
half-down
half-dead.
always say
-put yourself in my shoe-
why don't you?
have i not try my best to?
and what about you?
don't even think
that you're doing
a great job here.
i think you need
to think about it too.
try putting yourself
in MY shoe.
always me trying to
understand you.
why not the other
way round?

can you at least see
that i'm breaking down
here.
soon.
and even if you don't
there's a no need
to be so harsh on me

forget it.
does my words
actually make a
difference?

and that freak,
nf teacher
just shucks.
does he even
know how to teach?
talk crap.
crapping his way
through.
he never go through
the slides
and then,
blame us for not
reading.
like as if
when we read
we understand.
crap.
screw him.
and worst.
he somehow
remember my name.
so he keep calling
me to answer his
stupid question.
and like duh.
i give the
"screw-you" face
forever calling me
to answer question.
irritating.

no one.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

1:51 PM;

god
me stuck in school
bored
somehow finish
some stupid quiz.
so yeah,
nothing to do now.
bored.
so i blog..

guess nowadays,
my blog,
my post
sounds real down.
and it gets worst
after yesterday
night.
i don' know.
but it was him
definitely.
somehow, he said
something that hurt
my feelings.
and yeah,
thinking that he's stressed
all i can do is cry.
yeah.
cry.
tears.
sob sob.
the only thing
that filled my day.
but still,
he doesn't have to
come out with
those harsh words
does he?
i'm stressed too,
just wondering
why i'm being patient
yeah i know it's good.
but it's just not right.
that he's screaming at me
cause of stress.
and me.
remain patient.
what ever me.

just hoping
that he will
stop using those
words on me.
i'm so sad.
but he did say sorry
cause he said
now he can't really
feel anything.
at least have a
thought for me.
but yeah.
apology accepted.
cause of a reason.
i'm trying to be
understanding here.
cause he's under stress.
so,
no screams
no fights
no tears
or it'll just
make things worst.

bless me.

sadness
be my guest and
make my day.

bored.
still;
dead.
that's me now.
well, at least,
that's my life
now.

signing off,
written by,
blogged [is there such word] by,
posted by,
the whatever me =)

no one.

Monday, November 14, 2005

7:58 PM;

ok
i'm here
- again -
blogging.
why why why?
i'm down
down and just
down.

anyways me today
17 + 1 month years old
and yet
i'm still

down

argh.
hate this feeling
but what i've got to say
to the things
that's happening
around me?
am i in a right
position to even say
something?
guess.
all i have to do
is wait and see.
plus pray hard
for a miracle to happen
and hope i'm strong
to get through it.

and me,
just going
half nuts,
bonkers,
what ever you
want to call it,
about school.
cause this's sem's
modules just
shucks big time.
it's driving me crazy.
nf - the stupid different
coloured wires
uid - a total stranger
to dreamweaver
oop - what the heck.
unknown method
bis - the only module
i think i can survive.
see how sucky it gets.

no one.

2:34 PM;

finally
this thing appear
cause i was like
waiting for the
past 5 - 10 min
for this page
to load.
argh.
make me wait
for no reason.
bad website design
=x

haa.
later blogger
sue me for this.
=x
ok.
i don't know why
i suddenly thought
of the sweet movies.
probably cause
i've just watched one
of it last friday.
er..
just like heaven.
rocks!
one of the another
sweet movie is
a walk to remember
make me cry.
boo hoo hoo.
sob sob.
how i wish there's
a guy in this world
who is just as sweet
as these actors.
but no.

anyways larry!!!
a msg for you
ps : i'm born to screw your life!!!

ok.
that come out of nowhere.
but who cares.
bored.
when's the next
class starting.
mishing joanne
out of sudden.
bored.

and to my girls:
ps: i mish you all!!!
we'll definitely be meeting
very soon.
rite.yeah..

no one.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

12:11 PM;

ok
mee here
blogging again.
reason:
i don't know
feeling down maybe?

i don't know
what is
really going on
here..

he's seriously
stress now.
i mean.
stress.
yeah.
and i think,
he's just too stress.
he's hurting me too..
he just.
er..
scream when he feels
like it?
i don't know.
argh.

boo hoo hoo.
i'm down..
down down..

anyways,
finally my house
got internet connection.
haa.
thanx to some
vincent guy
from starhub.
all he did was
to ask me to run cmd
and type ipconfig
and tadaaa
done.
haa haa
that easy.
too bad,
my school doesn't
teach this.
=x

no one.

Friday, November 11, 2005

10:52 AM;

blogging again
mee =(

sigh my life is
sadness.
feeling down.
about everything.

firstly,
school just shucks
for now.
tons of projects.
and so on.
and nothing they taught
i ever understand.
stressing me up.
i hope i'll pass
through this semester.

secondly,
i'm just so worried.
about my friends.
and
him.
worried worried.
worries.
it just fill my day.
why can't we go
through a day
without worries?

my friends are like
having their own
relationship problem.
and i
got no idea why
it just have to affect
me soo much.
and worst
they aren't telling
me anything.
i hope things
go fine for them.
really i do.
and hope.
that things go back
to normal.

and as for him.
i've got nothing to say
i just hope he do
what he think is right
i've got nothing to say
i've said my part.
and now it's up to him
to make things right.
and all my
prayers go to him.
and for what had happen now
i hope he's strong to
pull it through.
and
hope he thinks
about it
for his own future.

and for me.
i'm not sure
what i'm really feeling
now.
just hope i'll not
go through what i had.
pray so hard.
why are all these
stressing me up.
how am i connected?
how am i involved?
why do i even get so worried?
that's not the normal me
right?
since when i get so worried?
but that's me now?
worried gal.
and nothing else.
it seems that nothing
in this world that won't
make me worry.
jus nothing.
how am i feeling.
god knows it all.
boy boy
something have to
definitely lift up
my mood.
sigh.
=(
=x

no one.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

1:07 PM;

hies hie =)
ok.
i'm stuck in school
and i'm bored.
i've like got 3 hours break
now.
damn long.

so now,
doing nothing.
basically,
just slacking in the library
with my classmates.
they playing games
which not suppose to
[cause we're in the library]
=x
but i'm a good
innocent girl.
i'm not playing.
but.
i'm blogging
=)
been days
since i blog.
mish blogging.

but now,
nothing to blog actually.
seriously,
bored!!!

ok.i'm leaving.
=x
=)

no one.

Friday, November 04, 2005

1:22 PM;

2nd day of hari raya.
diao.
and
back to school

i now laughing like
crazy.
can't stop laughing.
ok.
my classmates are
crappy.
hee hee.
back to school.
i mished my classmates.
so now, meet them again.
hee hee.

i met my BIS teacher today.
cool.
like her.
cause she's just as
crappy.
yeahs.
i like that.

no one.